Boys will be boys???

A very interesting conversation I had yesterday….. fighting over something trivial as a cat that we would like….never knew mundane things like that could unravel long held notions…its true when they say small doors often open into large rooms. As fate would have it became not a question of cats but a larger one of perspectives, about guys and gals…. stereotypes and expectations…. wants and desires… Then I realized that in this male dominated society of ours, we have been so conditioned to think in our own way that we are simply blinded in our realization of others desires (read girls). Men do what they think is best for them despite the hypocritical sounding everyone is equal…..blah… blah… we all know the truth men rule this world and make its rules…. We expect our mothers, sisters, girlfriends … to follow and support our every decision…. But what of their hopes, their desires and their wants…. oops... never thought of that…or the more politically correct….. I think this is best for you....... it’s so strange this perspective suddenly puts the spotlight on us men….. and frankly reveals us to be quite hypocritical…Our entire history, and indeed our lives can be seen in perspective..... What of the mother who nurtured her son despite the death of her other two sons and no family support?….Would she be given less credit than the son for his achievements…What of the wife who supported the family sacrificing her budding law career to raise children…Is she any less than her husband who became the President of United States…. I remember the president is said to have remarked that no one will write a book about his mother although volumes will be written about his speeches….It is ironical that we have very pithy sayings to cover these blemishes almost like the dab of makeup to cover the warts…Behind every successful man there is a women…Its time we give women their due….

Persistence….

The last few days I have been thinking …. 2005 is over and 2006 has started…I think I should feel happy and elated but somehow I don’t… I feel one year has been lost…. Lost to the anonymity of time… Television and news papers faithfully followed the tradition of reporting the newsmakers, the best and worst, the headlines the photos that defined the year gone by…. Sometimes I think they miss the hidden undercurrents in the zeal to cover the top stories…Something similar is happenning in the business world. In our zeal to look at the Gates’s, Walton’s and the Mittal’s we miss the Fred Smith’s who might linger anonymously amongst us…. (For the uninitiated…While an undergraduate student at Yale, Mr. Smith wrote a paper on the basic premise of FedEx and the hub-based distribution model for airfreight. What grade do you suppose a paper containing one of the best value creation ideas of the last quarter century would get from one of the finest academic institutions in the U.S?..... How about a "C."…… That's right, FedEx was only a "C" idea.). … the really inspiring part of this story is that Mr. Smith took his "C" idea and went on to build a successful company anyway.

What if a Fred Smith lingers in all of us but dies an unacknowledged death due to apathy….the lesson for me is to never look at a snapshot and say someone is a failure and someone is a star …. the latent churning and the path is more important….
It should be encouraged within us and unleashed to realize our true entrepreneurial potential....Persistence and insistence my friend…

Guilt.....? non returning indian

A friend sent me this article he had written some time back.....

Guilt ! Desertion ! With words like these ,are you forming a picture of a criminal facing charges before a court of law ? Almost, right ? But what I am speaking about is not being prosecuted by the law , but by your conscience .Your conscience is seeking redress from you for leaving your country and loved ones behind. Most first generation Indian immigrants landed in the US around the late 1960’s or the early 1970’s . These were engineers , doctors or businessmen who came flooding the Atlantic waters and settling down around the NY NJ areas. With about less than $50 in their pockets , they took up positions in high places in different fields . The sky was the limit then and they reached for the stars and plucked them out one by one .They bought houses , cars even planes and have rarely looked back since. Their children were born with a silver spoon in their mouth , so as to say .They were provided with all the luxuries that life can give plus some more .They were loved unconditionally whether they turned out to be bad or good .They were taught Indian values and customs and encouraged to be Indian here in the adopted US country . How proud we are to be Indians all over again now !. But then ,we couldn’t wait to get out of India where the same culture and customs were taught to us , and the same unconditional love was showered on us . Why was this so ? I’ll tell you .Because we wanted our independence from our country of birth and our parents who gave us birth . We wanted more money in our pockets, more decorative ribbons on our shoulders and increasing space between us and our family .This is the new life , we said . What we did not admit to ourselves is that we left our mother and father behind , and not always under the best of circumstances . They had to undergo loans of large sums of money ,so they may send us to America , the land with gold paved streets .Our Government subsidized our school and college fees so we didn’t have to put out a lot of money .And unlike some countries where they insist on a year or two of service in that country following completion of education or a compulsory stint in the armed forces , our benevolent India ,like our parents , let us off scott free without interest or condition . Do we while enjoying all the benefits of the US ever sit back and give thought to these acts of sacrifice ? Do we in our own way venture to pay back these huge amounts of love and generosity of our parents and our country ? Some of us ,I think ,do, as far as our parents are concerned .We send them back money or bring them here to take care of them . This is all wonderful . The guilt becomes less and desertion almost disappears . But what about the dues to be paid to the country of birth ?Just because it doesn’t visibly cry out and show you its needs and thirsts , it is hurting . It is hurting because it’s children do not respect it in thought , speech or deeds .Never mind that we don’t support charities at home , always doubting that the monies given go into the wrong pockets , we can at least be good ambassadors .We can be nice to another Indian , and we can refrain from badmouthing one another or our country . By acting this way towards our parents and country ,our guilt factor will be negated and the only dessert we have to think of is moms’ own apple pie !

you know Vishal, all I can say is the poet prime minister wrote once....
There is a big difference between a mountain peak where no tree ever grows and the hill which is home to birds, animals and trees...truly the humble bureaucrat who we all love to hate as a sign of official babudom does more service than utopian visionaries of chat forums...There is a big difference between having great height and possessing great depth